So we've all been through it. That one break up that after it happens and the reality or gravity sink in you just can't talk about it because of the pain you were in from it, or maybe because of the pain you're still in from it.
No one ever goes into a relationship thinking "oh this is a bad breakup waiting to happen months from now".
We go into new relationships being optimistic and excited about getting to know someone new. Slowly learning the little traits and habits about each other. Learning what you both like or don't, and thinking if those things line up or if you'll disagree on certain things. But then you sit there and internally analyze if you can look past a few things.
The worst part about starting fresh with someone is even if you go on dates and you think things are going really well, you still drive home thinking - "do they feel the same?" and you over analyze things until the next point of communication occurs.
You go on dates, start making them part of your regular week schedule to spend time together, you end up having the "where is this going" conversation about what your status is; Are we just casually dating? Are we an official couple? Should I make it official on Facebook? Will it be weird if I post pictures of us on social media? Are they into that kind of thing? Will they think I'm annoying if I post a cute photo and a quote about us? it's just an endless cycle of over analyzing what happens next - don't lie. Because we've all been there, and you should have no shame for it.
Well here's what I have to say about it...
Once upon a time...I made the first move. And I'll never regret that.
Once upon a time...I trusted you to be honest with me, always.
Once upon a time...I believed all of it. Every damn word that poured out of your mouth.
Once upon a time...I couldn't get enough of you.
Once upon a time...I felt that you were the best thing to ever happen to me, and in some ways - I still believe that.
Once upon a time...I fell in love with the way you saw life.
Once upon a time...I craved to have more and more intellectual conversations with you.
Once upon a time...I felt safe whenever I was next to you.
Once upon a time...I agreed to let you have my heart. If only I had known then.
Once upon a time...I needed you to support me no matter what.
Once upon a time...It hurt more than you could ever know to say goodbye to you every time I'd go home at night.
Once upon a time...My heart ached in the best way to be near you.
Once upon a time...I'd overthink myself to sleep when I felt unwanted by someone who claimed to love me.
Once upon a time...I would've been there through the bad times.
Once upon a time...I fought to keep us together - but I couldn't keep fighting for someone who was halfway out the door.
Once upon a time...I would've given anything to hear how you felt about me.
Once upon a time...I felt like I had to beg you for love. When you claimed to love me so much.
Once upon a time...All I wanted was for you to truly love me the way I loved you.
Once upon a time...I was so in love that I hoped walking away would make you see what we had together. It didn't.
Once upon a time...I went numb to you neglecting me and made excuses to people because I loved you too much to face the reality.
Once upon a time...I would've given anything to make you actually care about me the way I did about you.
Once upon a time...I'd ask myself why I wasn't enough for you.
Once upon a time...I'd ask myself why you couldn't let me all the way in.
Once upon a time...I saw an actual future with you, and had it shatter right in front of me over and over.
Once upon a time...I couldn't talk about you after it ended because of the pain & emotions that surfaced when I'd hear your name come up.
Once upon a time...I loved you, and cared so deeply for you. Part of me will always love you.
Once upon a time...I learned a lot, I loved a lot, and I'll always be thankful to know someone like you.
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I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!